“And now we’re supposed to go back to our normal lives. That’s what people do. They have these amazing experiences with another person, and then they just go home and clean the bathroom or whatever.”—When It Happens (Susane Colasanti)
Ah shit Allie I just read your post in the au pair group. I hope you are okay, that there weren't any fights or so? I have no idea about visas, as i didn't need one to come here, so i can't help you. But please let me know if there is anything I can do. I'm so sorry that you're in this situation and I hope everything works out xxx
Thanks Elin! As long as the family doesn’t unregister me I should be fine and I’m praying that they don’t. My boyfriend and I are frantically searching for a new family closer to him and better suited for me and I’m going to stay with him until then. That or figure out another way for me to stay here.
My host family gave me the two weeks notice and for the next two weeks I’m on “vacation” so I can stay here if I want but I’d rather not. There weren’t any fights but there were multiple times when I had to keep my cool and not argue with HM. And then I’d go to my room and cry.
Thanks girl, hopefully everything does work out and getting supporting messages from you and other Tumblr au pairs has made this a little easier to process<3
“I start my mornings convincing myself to open the windows, and let the new air replace the old. To let myself fold the sheets and leave behind all the doubts from yesterday under a well made bed. A freshly brewed cup of coffee filling the spaces in between scents of who I am behind closed doors. This is what I leave behind. This is what I go home to.”—Keen Malasarte, My mother tells me to make my bed in order to be made as a person, and I think she’s doing me a favor. (via creatingaquietmind)
1. Who you are now is not who you will be in 10 years. It is okay to be somebody new 10 minutes from now. We are always learning. We are always growing. If you realized 10 seconds ago that you don’t like who you are, shed your skin, retry, replant yourself in good soil.
2. Cleaning is instant therapy. When your brain is muddy, take a shower, wash your hands, change your clothes. Spend 15 minutes straightening your living room. When you are angry, scrub things. I know it’s crazy but it works instantly.
3. Forgive someone’s debt if it’s under 50 dollars, forgive the small things, give a little time to yourself and forgive the big things too. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about you. That being said - if someone ever hurts you in a way that would make me cry to know, you get out of there, my love. You just get up and go.
4. Gum karma is real and if you spit out a piece in public expect to find some on your shoe in the future. Same goes for insults and harsh judgement, too.
5. Do what you love and the money will follow.
6. Live your life with an open palm and give as much as you can and as often. At some point in your life, someone will lend you 50 bucks when you’re down on your luck. Remember how that feels. Remember to give that back.
7. Always wear clean underwear. You’ll thank me later.
8. There is a difference between being kind and being passive and there are those who cannot see that difference. They will try to walk all over you. Never bend your knees for those who do.
9. Have faith. Have faith in god or people or yourself or science or in luck or in all of the above. Faith is what keeps us going, faith is what keeps us strong.
10. Pay your bills on time whenever you can, although money is nothing. Remind yourself that.
11. Do not forget you were once ignorant of all you know now. Be patient of anyone who hasn’t had the education you have. Speak at the level of the person you are with - it’s not playing dumb, it’s being considerate. There’s no reason to make them feel uncomfortable. Plus then when someone starts going off about their superior IQ, you can cut them to pieces and watch their face when you do.
12. You are the best person in the room for one particular thing, and that’s confidence. You are the worst person in the room for another thing, and that’s humility. Use both carefully.
13. Never make fun of someone’s beliefs or superstitions, let your kid keep their imaginary friend and let your best buddy believe in knocking on wood. We all have security blankets. Don’t take away someone else’s.
14. Try to learn something new every day.
15. The worse you look, the more likely you are to run into someone you know so instead of feeling awkward, learn to be confident in sweats while talking to your friends.
16. Never go to bed angry, it will ruin your sleep and make tomorrow even harder. Find a way to relax. Don’t let today get to your head.
17. Think before you speak. When someone says something, mull over their words before answering. This is called listening, it is different than hearing.
18. What keeps love beautiful is that there’s risk involved. If he breaks your heart and it doesn’t hurt, it wasn’t love in the first place.
19. Never let someone else determine who you are or how happy. You are too strong to be torn apart.
20. I love you, even when we are fighting, even when I am fast asleep. Don’t doubt it for an instant. You are my everything.
“1. Do not hate them for it. They are on a journey too.
2. Understand that sometimes you will be a bandage caressing a temporary wound or you will be a pinnacle of permanency rooted deeply in their heart. Accept that you do this to people too.
3. Do not step on your feet trying to find a rhythm you are not meant to follow.
4. Do not let it harden you: continue to nurture, continue to love.
5. People use words as anchors to latch onto bits of you and when they leave remind yourself that the sea never bled itself dry because a ship left it.
6. Write the nastiest letter and burn it.
7. Yes, they may have illuminated pieces of you that you were unaware existed. But now you do and they are not the last person to remind you.
8. Dizzy yourself with everything you love, like dancing in the greenhouse to horrid pop songs or reading Haruki Murakami.
9. Set all that anger ablaze, you are wasting your time sifting through it.
10. Internalize the fact that you were still breathing before you met them.
11. Forgive them.”—what to do when people leave. (via herscience)
“Foreign lands never yield their secrets to a traveller. The best they offer are tantalising snippets, just enough to inflame the imagination. The secrets they do reveal are your own - the ones you have kept from yourself. And this is reason enough to travel, to leave home.”—Graeme Sparkes (via thatkindofwoman)
...a lot like your 6 year old! the way the do things is so different to how my family is with my niece. it may just be culture shock or whatever but everything is a problem with the kids,like if one coughs she'll be like, "oh my gosh, what happened?" as if i did something to him. shes very over protective of them and babies them so much. But on the plus side t=my last three days have been a little better. How about you?
I do think a lot of American parents tend to be lenient but I also think we’re in a new age of parenting that is very cushy for the kids. I feel like parents were much harsher and took less shit when I was growing up haha even my host family makes me think “My dad would Not let that fly at the table!” I’m told I can give C consequences but have almost no ammo. I can refuse her candy or her scooter for school…that’s all I’ve got. And I don’t want to be a Grinch but it feels like there is no other option for me.
I don’t have an agency, I used Au-Pair World. And I spoke with the dad today who is soooo different and listens more and tries to understand more and he gets it and won’t hold it against me if I decide to leave, so that is REALLY good. And you? I wish I was spending my free time on a boat :p